有時會覺得自己很奇怪...

心情不穩定~一上一下的.

好的時候都要好好去珍識.

Today, a man was caught in the store for stealing. Guys in the store surrounded him. He panicked and tried to pull out his knife, but they stopped him. They calmed him down and took him to the back and he cried for a chance. This man already had a record and might end up in jail. The police arrived. I can’t believe three of those guys lied to the police that he was already out the door when they caught him. This not only made him a theft, but a robber; which is even more serious. He might already have a record, but it doesn’t give us right to accuse him for something he didn’t do. This would just push him towards dead end. How can they set him up??? There are video cameras in the store so if police know they lie, they are in trouble. One of the guys is scare right now because he was part of the lie. That’s what happens for dishonesty.

Heart pumps really hard.

Curl up. No tear.

Feel sour and painful.

So cold and tired.

Roll into bed.

Wake up, still painful.

Look in the mirror. Slowly put makeup on.

Thinking: My eyes…so dead…

Walk slow.

Mind wonders, soulless.

Thinking: Where should I go...? So confuse…

Head goes on and on with questions.

Look at other people’s expression.

Hallucinating:  I can read them...I can see through them…

No interest in anything.

Don’t feel hungry. Food is tasteless.

Feel the anxiety.

Thinking: Too many people and so noisy.  I can’t stand it.

Need a quiet place.

 < Unsupportive Judgement>

Hopeless and alone.

Out of words but no tear.

Laugh.

Thinking:  No one understand…? I am alone…

Sleep. Wake up.

Bed sulks in sweat.

Thinking: Did I spill something? Weird…

Think back.

Was like a dream...

Thinking: Was I sleepwalking? This is weird...

Everything seems so clear.

No more headaches.

No more soreness behind neck and shoulder.

Thinking: I feel so light…like I am floating…

Like I can take the world.

Thinking: What was I doing? Was that really me?

Past few days didn’t seem real.

Was acting crazy.

Like I was possessed.

Now think back.

Seemed like a joke.

 

"原來在痛苦的時後會讓一個人在腦裡造成一個幻想.

過後都想不青楚自己做了什麼. 就好像做了一場夢."

 

Far

 

 

 

Three days ago at work...my co-worker have some news for me.

She asked me there is a good news and a bad news; which one will I choose first?

 

 

Then she make me choose one...

 

 

After I heard the bad news she told me the good news. The bad news was,

the shipment didn't come so I have to work on it on a busy day tomorrow.

The good news was, I don't have to work on it today.

 

 

Later she clarify with me why I choose bad news first rather than good news?

 

 

She did not understand and ask why most people choose bad news first. 

She said she would choose the good news first because bad news will ruin her mood all day.