Nobody pays attention to others because no one could understand deeply of others...

There are times I wonder whether I see the reality or those I don't understand does.

感覺班上的人說話很複雜

當artist 說話需要這麼複雜嗎?

解釋作品太長篇是歷害還是怕別人不明白呢?
覺得意思只有一個﹐
為何不能只說出重點...?
是我看得簡單了嗎?

Far

今天去了Learning Resource Centre 見了assistant

雖然他說的東西我已經知道,

但給了我一個確定, 清楚自己沒錯

 

在學校圖書館做了些research

我愛上了librarian 老伯了, 很用心幫人喔!

讓我想起LOTR & Harry Potter 老巫師 哈...

 

出門時候跟一個倒垃圾員工被關在電梯﹐

電梯上上下下門打不開...

還好垃圾桶是空的

 

回家前停在Art Central...

喝杯Hazelnut flavor steam milk, 吃塊brownie,

看關於Egyptian Sculpture & Archaic Greek Art 的書

放鬆了心情

 

Far

上一堂老師說﹐孤兒從小沒有愛護所以不懂怎麼愛

爸﹐叔叔, 阿姨, 伯伯都是孤兒﹐

所以爸對我說他沒讀到書時候我知道他意思是...我對不起你們

[爸﹐ 我從來都沒怪過你﹐ 只希望媽會堅強起來]

我想大家終於清醒了

尋找能夠愛自己的人是因為不懂怎麼愛自己

找到的也是不懂怎麼愛自己的人

只是自己的影子

 

"Seeing our reflections makes us wake up to the reality;

realizes it is ourselves we need to love..."

 

Far

生活面對困難情緒不穩

一時上課心情很差沒興趣說話

同學還年輕﹐看我樣子該覺得很嚴格﹐

反而見到在學校工作的就有個了解

我希望他們知道我比他們大多

我真回不到去天真的思想阿

心情不好回家時候經過art central

坐下喝杯steam milk...

看見工作的人很舒服

回到家收到媽的email...

說明天帶Sparky過來

她跟朋友去多倫多玩幾天

Far

上完art history 回到家...感覺頭痛

該是因為完成學業對我好重要...為了生活

班上的人還年輕所以話好多 我專心不到

I just absorb better in a mature learning environment

This is another thing I have to go through...

已經跟老師說了我會從email問清楚功課

老師說一句我聽了不太舒服…

說一些artist會覺得當一個artist要經歷過痛﹐她就不太認同

不過我就是一個為了當artist面對了好多攻擊的人

痛也不是我想要經歷的﹐只是沒辦法阿

只覺得這老師的人生經歷很少﹐

所以不太了解我們這類形的artist

We have to face so much pain to get to where we want,

some artists just have easier life

I guess I just prefer instructor that has more life experiences

so there is a connection from the way they lecture.

Doesn’t mean she is wrong…

Just gets me frustrated when the whole class is already full

of inexperience …I just need to hear from someone

that went through more.

Far

"This is a path that cannot be too attached. I hope we will all meet at one point;

but not right now and we all know that. Just need to keep going..."

Far

一醒來突然想到 Humanity 功課要寫什麼了﹗

My view in art is the more you explore and experience cultural differences,

the clearer your mind becomes (challenge your mind to accept differences).

It hurts when people don't accept who you are,

but have to fight through that to move on to the next stage.

My life experiences and where I'm born is who I am;

thus, I cannot change that to suit others,

but learn to deal with criticism.

I am a half Chinese, half Western mind;

I should use it as a benefit,

then I am a bridge to both world.

Every culture has its good and bad,

just need to select out what's best for myself.

That will become my own voice.

"Challenging your mind is art."

"Meeting differences seems like a battle at first,
but is actually a way to absorb more knowledges."

"I was constantly criticized of my differences.

Life is about acceptancy; thus, I cannot change my past experiences."

Far

I still think he is special, I don't know why…

Free spirited 的中國人很少

very special... a true artist

as is…no pain no gain

pain is what can dig your passion out of you

現在的我該是一個話少字多的人吧

以後的我就不知道了

just talk to myself a lot

I think it's about leaving the comfort zone

this is what art is...

bring your inner side out of you

or maybe I just like to express through writing

dislike the ignorant look

only talks to those that understand

somehow can just feel it

Far

"Practically listens to this song everyday for a comfort."

Calm down

Deep breaths

And get yourself dressed instead

Of running around

And pulling on your threads and

Breaking yourself up

 

If it's a broken part, replace it

If it's a broken arm then brace it

If it's a broken heart then face it

 

And hold your own

Know your name

And go your own way

 

Hold your own

Know your name

And go your own way

And everything will be fine

 

Hang on

Help is on the way

Stay strong

I'm doing everything

 

Hold your own

Know your name

And go your own way

 

Hold your own

Know your name

And go your own way

 

And everything

Everything will be fine

Everything

 

All the details in the fabric

Are the things that make you panic

Are your thoughts results of static cling

 

Are the things that make you blow

Hell, no reason, go on and scream

If you're shocked it's just the fault

Of faulty manufacturing

 

Everything will be fine

Everything in no time at all

Everything

 

Hold your own

And know your name

And go your own way

 

Hold your own

(Are there details in the fabric?)

Know your name

(Are there things that make you panic?)

Go your own way

(Are your thoughts result of static cling?)

Hold your own

(Are there details in the fabric?)

Know your name

(Are there things that make you panic?)

Go your own way

(Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?)

 

Hold your own

(Are there things that make you blow?)

And know your name

(Hell, no reason, go and scream)

And go your own way

(If you’re shocked it’s just the fault of faulty manufacturing)

 

Everything will be fine

Everything in no time at all

Hearts will hold 

- Jason Mraz & James Morrison

Without the knowledge of Humanity,

artist can really become out of control...

lost in the sense of direction.

找自己就是要注意自己問題﹐不是別人的, 每個人有自己想法

art is building inner self, inner confident....to find a peace in mind

喜歡老師說的 "Pandora Box" ﹐ 一個美麗的箱子, 裡面充滿了惡魔

means don't judge from the outside

what makes art interesting is seeing the mind of every unique individual...

imperfection is human and that's the beauty

迷惘時候問過朋友亂七八糟的問題...

他對我說 [我怎麼知道~我又不是你﹗]

這句真被打醒﹗哈哈... 真想知道他現在好多了嗎

was looking at each other like a reflection

when you are lost, you see yourself in other people...

thinking that is how they think, but is actually how you think

我又不是你~~ 這句 I like it! 以後也用來保護自己空間 哈哈

art is boring when you haven't gone through things that

makes you need it to balance your emotion..

the teaching is about human mind

不了解某些人的時候是因為生活經驗不相同

you can’t change people, but can only change yourself

"And yet, I am attach to the passionate; in the sense of comfort."

生活在一個你看到別人好處但別人只會注意壞處的環境很痛苦,

我想見到光明, 那才是屬於自己的地方

別人的心理問題推到自己身上是如此的不合理

eyes from darkness only see the demon

老師叫學生回答﹐What is your cave?

我已經走出cave了,不想再回頭, 至少目前不會

我只在等機會進下一步﹐重複知道的東西不好受

I feel detached from my belonging because

I haven't get a chance to meet them,

it is just pushing me back to the cave

those that went through the same is where I belong...

that's the mental connection that can drive my energy up

I don't want to be taken advantage of my heart again...at a healing process.

Using heart when I am not ready will only hurt myself even more...

those that know how to treasure will understand.

用心不是勉強別人接受自己用心的方式﹐是尊重別人的不一樣...

I've learned to keep a distance

Far

Suddenly I was looking at Windows Live private message
Didn't realize I got messages, I hardly check
Seems to be from a while back...
but thanks for the concern and messages if anyone see

Far

今天 Humanity 學到對自己很有幫助的東西
竟然給出了我最想知道的答案
這課能幫Artist平衡心理
知道了做人就不會亂七八糟了
我看到了真相...

Far

God (最高)                   觀念                 -> (light)

-------------------------------------------------------

Philosopher 哲學家 (中)    有思想和觀念

-------------------------------------------------------

         看到真相          -> (lighter)

-------------------------------------------------------

Artist  (最低)              影子﹐迴聲       -> (darkness)

外國生活就是﹐告訴人關於自己的弱點只會認為你比他們弱﹐

但有多少人知道敢承認自己問題的都是追求進步的呢?

反而不敢承認的是怕別人看不起自己, live by a mask…

辛苦不是生活壓力﹐是要假裝看不見別人的假面具

Those admitting their own problem is actually the

brave one because no one is perfect.

生活過得完美就是沒挑戰過自己, 不完美之後的完美才是生命

“To live life to the fullest also need to experience pain;

pain is what makes us understand ourselves better.”

Far

已經開了學!

上了 Humanity 和攝影

今天跟明天 Day off

昨天上一整天攝影,

當中要離開學校三小時到處拍

攝影老師給了35個題目要自己找出意思來

背著單眼在市中心走來走去找東西拍

要跟著題目(in order) 拍不到不能跳下一個!

到處跑好累阿~又不能留在學校

拍完了回去critique

今天就全身痛了起來 哈哈~

Far